A customer at my side job said she was Jazzi Jazzed and Grateful in her email to me a few months back and I’ve been turning that phrase around in my head since.

First, because I was most definitely not that. Sure, with effort, I could find gratitude, even if I wasn’t really living there. But jazzi jazzed? What a delicious turn of phrase. It captured so much of what was lacking in my life and struck a chord in my heart.

That kind of excitement and spark had been conspicuously absent in my life and I wanted it back. I had known that fun was a missing piece for a while. All my time was being spent on the responsibilities of everyday life as a single mother working two jobs to pay the bills. Jobs that were fine. Good, actually. But not exactly lighting me up.

I even made “have more fun” as my primary goal back in December alongside “get strong”.

Detail of a colorful vision board with the words "Time to get my spark back" and "Experiment Explore Adventure Fun" alongside images of dancing, skates, a concert, sparklers, and hot air balloons

My vision boards for the year showed a buff woman lifting dumbbells alongside photos of dancing, sparklers, hiking, rollerblading, concerts, and hot air balloons. The words I added were,

Time to Get My Spark Back
The Art of Renewal: Your Next Chapter Begins Here
Experiment, Explore, Adventure, Fun

I had been living in a grainy, black and white film with the sound turned down for the past couple of years, and I knew I had to turn up the volume, the color, the energy, the FUN.

I needed to live fully, instead of marking time, responsibility to responsibility, bill to bill, paycheck to paycheck.

How did I even let myself get into this drab rut?

I slid into it slowly over a few years of challenges and circumstances—a daughter’s illness, a relationship breakup, a natural disaster in my town, and the need to support my family in a different way after some financial and professional setbacks.

There was some grief and trauma and numbness but there was also just settling.

When I finally recognized what was going on, I knew I had to do something. But what? The answer wasn’t clear to me, but I knew that intentionally adding some fun back would help.

I wasn’t exactly sure how to get back on track to a life of purpose, fulfillment and joy, but I figured I could experiment my way there, step by step.

I had just listened to Tiny Experiments by neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff and was inspired by her approach of following curiosity with small experimental shifts toward an authentic life.

And so I began experimenting and looking for the fun.

I said yes to going zydeco dancing with a neighbor even though I had no idea what I was doing.

When a temporary outdoor rink opened up downtown, I went ice skating for the first time in years, feeling the exhilaration of gliding along the ice.

I went to a Fleetwood Mac tribute concert.

3 photos of the giant wooden trolls exhibited at the NC Arboretum, one doing a handstand, one crouching down with a garbage bin mask pulled over its head, one gathering rocks

A friend and I went to see Thomas Dambo’s fantastical trolls at the NC Arboretum.

At work, I took the opportunity to learn Airtable and became obsessed with the possibilities for entrepreneurs.

I laughed and cringed at live comedy shows with friends.

As I experimented, things started shifting. So I tried more experiments.

I signed up for a Pickleball 101 clinic.

I registered for my first astrology conference.

I learned about a new-to-me approach to archetypes that I found fascinating.

I started doing a little coaching again. And a few astrology readings.

I said yes to more vision board workshops.

I began volunteering in the River Arts District, a part of town that had been especially devastated by Hurricane Helene.

My daughters and I went to see baby piglets and chicks at a local farm.

Some experiments may be one-offs, some may be longer lasting.

Some of my experiments will be one-offs—just things to try for the joy of it. Others might turn into something more lasting. We’ll see. For now, I’m simply following the fun, trying things out, and seeing what unfolds.

This weekend, I went mountain biking with a friend—my first time in over two decades. And had so much fun, I started looking for a mountain bike.

I went to that Pickleball clinic yesterday and enjoyed it so much that I’m signing up for a few lessons with a coach.

The world that had gotten progressively smaller and darker, began opening up again, bright and interesting. I started to dust off pieces of my soul I had forgotten about. I felt happier and more alive.

I also returned to my beloved practice of writing morning pages with a cup of coffee when I first woke up, instead of diving straight into the details of my accounts management side job.

Detail of vision board showing a woman lifting weights, hiking, and swinging with the words "the art of renewal: your next chapter begins here" and "time to get my spark back"

And yes, I also got some dumbells and learned how to use them.

I basically created a loose experimental program for getting my spark back by following the fun, the whispers, and my interests. Because what is life worth without that?

I went from feeling stuck and discouraged to feeling alive and excited about my fun experiments, even if I didn’t know where they were going yet. I went from feeling a bit resigned to feeling like a co-creator of life again.

And yes, feeling Jazzi Jazzed and Grateful.

How about you?

Are you Jazzi Jazzed and Grateful?

If so, yay! I’m so happy for you!!

If not, maybe experiment with adding some fun back into your life.

Not sure where to start? How about making a list of all the activities you enjoy doing?

Things that make you feel alive, that add a smile to your face, that leave you energized. (even if that feeling is just a memory)

Detail of vision board with a photo of a couple dancing with energy and enthusiasm and the word "Dance" above against a backdrop of fireworks

A few things from my list:

Roller skating
Hiking
Playing board games with my daughters
Being in the sun
Dancing
Astrology
Coaching
Learning new things
Making things
Graphic design

What do you enjoy doing?

And while you’re at it, how about a list of the things you remember enjoying as a kid?

On my list:

Reading fiction (i used to read stacks of books from the library every week)
Biking
Daydreaming
Baking
Art

What did you like doing as a child?

And, maybe even make a list of things you might like to try.

On my list:

Sashiko
Mahjong
Pickleball
A hot air balloon ride

What are you interested in trying?

Now that you have your lists, begin your experiments.

Look for opportunities to add some of these into your life, either as a one-time trial or maybe on a more regular basis. Maybe aim for at least one activity from your fun list each week.

Enjoy dancing? Look up dancing events, classes, or venues. Reach out to a friend who might want to go with you.

Feel a spaciousness to your day when you start with a walk? Slip in a quick 15-minute walk before you head to work a few times a week.

Think you might enjoy pickleball? Look up an intro clinic and put it on your calendar.

You might be surprised at the shifts in your life as you add in a few moments of fun and take an experimental approach.

Detail of vision board showing a variety of colorful seashells and the words "Shapes of things to come"

I am. I wanted this, aimed for this, and even planned for it. But I’m still surprised and delighted at how much my life has shifted in the last few months.

I feel like I’m getting my spark back.

I feel alive.

I feel Jazzi Jazzed and Grateful.

While I still work too much at two jobs that are not exactly aligned with my skills, interests, and background, I’m learning new skills in the process and am trusting that this is part of the journey. And more importantly, my fears and drudgeries don’t have such a hold over me. I feel stronger than them.

And also, I know life is not a linear path.

I may end up in a rut again at some point. And if I do, I hope I remember this idea of fun and exploration—and have the courage to begin again. One small experiment at a time.

Getting My Spark Back (One Tiny Experiment at a Time)